April 10, 2019

Toxic People Management | Nursing Hacks # 12

You. You are on a unique, personal journey in life. No one else has been in your shoes and doesn't know your background. The background that brought you to the nursing profession. The background that shaped you and made you the person you are today - the person who is now drawn to helping others in your community. The journey was a long one, but you are here, stand tall. Please, please do not allow some random ass person in your life (professor, instructor, co-worker, friend, family member) to shake your foundation and core values. Don't let one individual disrupt your learning process. No one can tell you what your potential is or will be. They have no idea if you will be a "good" nurse or a "smart" student. They can't predict failure. There is no trait in failure. Failure is an event. It does not describe an action or an individual. I've failed nursing exams and courses before. I've experienced taking two steps forward and three steps back. The nursing journey can be emotionally exhausting. That emotional state has nothing to do with your academic or professional potential, nor does it determine your future success. Don't allow a random person to shake your confidence.

Do you ever wonder why people discourage and create an atmosphere of impossibilities? It's because they dislike their lives and must lash out at others. Their self-loathing projects itself outwardly. It isn't about you or the actual topic at hand. These people are toxic, and their negativity seeps into your skin and spread within you. Their words bore into your mind causing insecurity and stress. To these individuals, their advice is factual, solid and certain. When in reality, opinions are based on our life experiences and exposure. Opinions are paper thin, wavering and unstable. These negative people are unhealthy to your overall wellbeing. If it's a professor, learn what you can and move on quickly. You are paying to learn, so do that. Your goal is nursing, your endpoint is graduation. Get there and don't look back. My nursing fundamentals professor told me I'd never pass the NCLEX-RN exam. He told me I was inept... well, well, well look who was wrong!

If it's a co-worker or family member, sit down and evaluate the relationship. Who you surround yourself with determines your perspective and emotional health. I don't care about someone's intelligence when it comes to being within my support system. I need positive, well-rounded individuals who understand that life is complicated. No one has the answers. We are all merely doing the best we can. We are individuals attempting to improve the health and wellbeing of people in our community. You are enough. You have nothing to prove. Advice is great, but in the wrong hands, it can stop us from wanting more. It can prevent us from taking those needed steps. Always listen to your heart, block out the rest. You have to make a conscious effort to ignore the bullshit around you. It's all bullshit, it doesn't matter. It doesn't play a key role unless you allow it. Focus on what you want, how you want to grow and how you want to impact the world. You think Florence Nightingale was pressed on what others thought about her and her professional choices? Nah. People making history and causing true impact don't allow toxic people to deter their progress.

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